I am so tired of being me.
I wanna be free, I wanna be new and different.
Anything I'm not.
♥♥♥
Monday, November 7, 2011 @ 6:03 PM Fear; my greatest enemy
Sunday, October 23, 2011 @ 9:13 PM just typing out my thoughts for that while
okay I wanted to post many things that happened, today, but I am lazy and tired. shall post again some other day, so this post is like redundant, whatever it is. before clock strikes 12 tonight, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to myself. hee. I am writing this half awake actually, cause my life is so happening these few weeks. Await for my next proper post with many language mistakes (as usual). Haha. G'night readers, if any.
Sunday, October 9, 2011 @ 7:16 PM Floating on air
Have figured out things right, everythings' on the right track now. And these are the most important lessons I've learnt: Always listen to others, and treat others the way you want to be treated. Never assume without clarifying. Lastly, blood is/will/always be thicker than water. And (MY) october gonna be the most interesting month of all, grinning. Shall stay happy happy and happy all day long. Forget the past, live with the present and look forward to the future.
Being (partially) financially independent is a good thing, makes me feel that I've grown up. It's partially because I still need my parents to pay for my phone bills. Come to think of it, is that the only thing that they're paying for me right now. Maybe I'm just not aware for the other payments they've been paying for, laughs. And in a way or another, I do agree to this Money makes the world round. Sad to say but how true is this.
Everyone will have their own thoughts going on in their mind on and on, every single minute. But how many of you will eventually have the courage to shout it out loud to other people be it good/bad thoughts. I admit I don't. BUT. Sometimes the fact in my head get bored and decide to take a walk in my mouth. Frequently this is a bad thing. I don't care, I will just share whatever I want with whoever I wish to.
& I came across this, while surfing the net randomly and it reminds me of
Steve Job.
Random but interesting.
There are so many versions of just one memory, and yet none of them were classified as right or wrong. Instead, they were all pieces, only fitted together, edge to edge, could they even begin to tell the whole story - life.
Looking forward to the following days of this month!
And I'm gonna end my post with this:
人生就像一场戏，因为有缘才相聚。相扶到老不容易，是否应该去珍惜。
为了小事发脾气，回头想想又何必。别人生气我不气，气出病来无人替。
我若气死谁如意，况且伤身又费力。吃苦想了在一起，神仙羡慕好伴侣。
(:
Sunday, October 2, 2011 @ 4:51 PM Losing my own self.
This is what i feel today: Utterly miserable.
I don't deserve the care and concern that was showered on me.
I don't deserve all the things that I had with me.
I don't deserve to be who I am actually.
Just wondering, so who am I.
Sometimes, things happened but its ain't the way I wanted to. Sometimes, words came out of my mouth but its ain't the words I wanted to say. Sometimes, actions took place but its ain't what I meant to. Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes. Who is in my inner self, and who is at my outer self.
I hate myself for being who I am.
This is exactly how I'm feeling.
Give me a break, a little escape, I'm so tired of being me. I wanna be free, I wanna be new and different. Anything I'm not.
I want a breakaway from every single thing, cause I am really sick and tired of them all.
A note to you: You may be my closed one, but still, you've no right to intervene my privacy.
Saturday, October 1, 2011 @ 12:54 AM Glimpse of happiness
Finally its friday, had been counting day by day ever since the start of monday. Laughs. Had a hectic week at work! Typically no free time to slack, feel so productive! And i've mastered (partially) the bank system, which also act as an indicator for my current work load. Not a bad thing actually, I love what I'm doing at work. Time really flies, one month passed. Two more months of probation, then I'll be entitled to more benefits officially.
Putting work aside, my social life is getting close to zero percent or maybe negative, this is my everyday routine: wake up-work-off work-home-sleep. Okay I'd say not totally zero, at least I still whatsapp, facebook or text with my friends. But still kinda no life.
Today I received a wedding invitation from my one-month-old colleague! Love her invitation card, unique. And suddenly I had so many thoughts on my mind, so I'm gonna pen down my thoughts here!
Wedding, why people in this world have/must/want/need to get married. But I must admit that when I first saw her invitation card, I feel like getting married too for like few seconds, haha. (this is childish & ignorant, ikr! haha)
What is marriage. Someone once told me that, getting married is for the reason to be able to stay together as a couple officially. Then what's the in thing that's going on now- cohabitation. And someone else once told me that marriage is just for a piece of paper- the certificate. Like what for you need a certificate to be together with someone you love. Then another someone else told me that a couple being together doesn't equate to having to get married. So why nobody ever tell me the happiness of a marriage, something good about marriage. And I've witness a couple of failed marriages, my closed ones. Newly wed couples break up few months later, reason being the existence of third party. This is not love and what more can it be a marriage. I'm not making any discrimination to marriage here. It's just that I've yet to realized the actually meaning and reason to get married to someone you love. (:
Glimpse of happiness; for the weekends! Though there's only two days but I'm still grateful for them! A lil breakaway from my weekdays.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011 @ 10:45 PM Need some space
#%£$&@!#%£$@!#%!$@&
Seriously, I'm so easily affected by everyone everything around me. Good or bad. Worst still, people involved do not know a single thing. This is what really pissed me off. So anyone out there who's willing to lend me a listening ear or to be my venting machine. Doubt so. And this is why I talk to my blogger here. Hah. :-|
Tuesday, September 20, 2011 @ 10:48 PM Live with my own decision
This is just the beginning and yet I'm in this state. Working is tiring, but come to think of it, everything seem (is) to be tiring. What's there to complain.
As there's this saying, "No pain no gain!" Unless I live in a fairytale, yes in my dream. Dream on.
Oh well, at least, I'm starting to learn new things related to banking and somehow I feel that I join the wrong department haha. Hopefully I'll be happy with what I'm sowing now. Being the smallest and totally inexperienced fry in the company is so not cool. It's gonna be a long journey for me.
Should stop whining and move on. This is my decision so I'm gotta remember and live with it. Tomorrow will be a better day, it will be. (:
And the reason for writing this post is not to complain about my current job or to express the unhappiness I'm having in this new company. It's just to pen down how I feel for myself and most importantly to remind myself, everyday is a chance for me to learn more, gain more and not to whine and procrastinate. Haha.
Sunday, September 18, 2011 @ 8:36 PM In love with this song
for no reason why.
@ 12:44 AM It is a fairytale, like a dream.
I wonder who else still remember this in-fascinating space of mine here. Oh wells. Suddenly I've the urge to pen down my thoughts here, though my last post was prolly months ago or maybe longer. Hah.
So near yet so far, how true.
It's just a click away and yet I hesitated and eventually gave it up. This is weird and unacceptable to at least, myself up to now. This shouldn't be the case, maybe time, people and environment setting really change everything.
"Never assume that someone likes you by their sweetness, because sometimes, you're just an option when they're bored." I guess this phrase explains everything. This should be the reason why, for "The grass is greener on the other side." At least from my own perspectives.
Love you, my dear TKL.
Friday, August 5, 2011 @ 11:18 AM How I wish
that:
I can vanish right into the thin air
Saturday, June 4, 2011 @ 7:15 PM So much things to say, and yet.
Mixed feelings, I admit. Everything seems so unpredictable in life. One minute, you can assure someone for something, then the other minute everything just change for no reason why. Therefore, 'Never make decisions when you are angry, and never make promises when you are happy!' Indeed how true. Always look at the picture as a whole, this is to ensure not a single detail is being missed out. Its obviously just an impulse, or maybe there's nothing at all. Thinking way too much, for this, I hate myself.
Saturday, May 28, 2011 @ 1:14 PM Happy kid
Surprised. I really was. He went online-booking for 3D Kungfu Panda 2! Its a very cute movie, and I am now waiting for part 3. Really enjoyed it. (:
Okay, because I've always wanted to watch movie in 3D to have a feel of what is it like. So I keep whining that I didnt try before, and never fail he will always say 3D is nothing, just like normal 2D movie. Kinda spoil-mood. Eventually I give up in asking. Who knows, he initiated to watch 3D for this movie, and what more he went to book online. Like so totally not him. Oops, LOL. But I was really happy and touched. A little mushy here, I love you my dear. ♥ So now guys, you will know a little action you do, can actually make a girl sooooooooo happy. SMILE.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011 @ 12:53 PM Goodbye SP
Pictures speak a thousand word.
Alright, there's only two pathetic pictures here. Lazy to upload so many huh. Haha. Oh well.
My beloved diploma! (:
My lovely graduation gifts! (:
Yes, so I've officially graduated from SP today. Finally gotten my diploma in BA after like 3 years of hard work in SP (haha, feel guilty while I typed that) and only 30 seconds on stage in the convention centre. Kinda laugh out loud. But still happy much. Afterall, I got the chance to wear a robe, took the scroll and my loved ones, friends and so many other people there to witness this whole ceremony. Blessed. (:
Sunday, May 22, 2011 @ 1:34 PM HAPPY BIRTHDAY
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST PAPA! ☺☺
The four of us had dinner at Sakura @ Clementi Woods Park, and we both bought him a cake from Bakerzin. Dark Chocolate cake. Yummylicious. Hope he had a great time, I believe he did. Hehe.
Saturday, May 14, 2011 @ 1:29 PM ☺ Fast and Furious 5, a very nice and very long movie. But its so captivating that I was not distracted at all, I kept my eyes glued on the screen and paying fullest attention throughout. This explains whether you should or not watch it. HAHA. (:
